Painting Flowers
by Phoenixofdarkness62
Summary: When I wake up, the dream isn't done. But is this all a dream? Or is this his newest reality? Peeta finds himself with more questions then answers. Please note this story contains spoilers for 'Mockingjay'.


Property Disclaimer: I own nothing I write about. 'The Hunger Games' belongs to Suzanne Collins, and this song 'Painting Flowers' belongs to the band All Time Low.

**Story Disclaimer: This story does contain spoilers for 'Mockingjay'. Please, please, please don't read if it you haven't completely finished Mockingjay yet. This contains several key points in the story, an I would hate to spoil it for you. If you do chose to read anyway, I will _NOT_ accept flames that say 'You spoiled this for me!' because I warned you. You probably just chose not to read this disclaimer.**

_Lyrics are in italics._

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_Strange maze, what is this place?_ Peeta thought as he opened his eyes. He was strapped to torture device, in a white room. He panicked having a flashback to the games. Katniss!

Oh god Haymitch was going to have his head if he lost sight of her. Chained to the board device thing though, he couldn't move around much to find her. Suddenly his head began to throb.

_I hear voices over my shoulder, _Wait, what had brought on the negative thoughts? Katniss… Katniss had tried to kill him. No, no, no Katniss would never would do that. She absolutely hated the games and all they stood for. She hadn't even killed anyone besides the guy from District 10 who killed Rue, and assisted in killing Cato and maybe a few others in the second games. He couldn't really remember much. Nothing more, nothing less, she would never purposely kill another human being.

_Nothing's making sense at all. _Wait… what was he thinking about? Something about the Games maybe? Or perhaps it was Katniss? Peeta's brow furrowed as he tried to put together his fragmented thoughts. It was getting pretty hard to remember what was going on. He remembered the games, and Katniss going off with Johanna and then… nothing.

_Wonder, why do we race?_ Suddenly a thought came to his head. Cato, Clove and Glimmer came into focus. He looked up and there was Katniss up in the tree. The careers had tried thinking off a way to kill her and get her down. Glimmer had already tried using the bow once or twice with no success what so ever. Wait… bow. Katniss had tried to kill him. No, no, NO! Glimmer was getting impatient with the way things were going when they heard a 'whurr' in the air. The trackerjacker hive was tumbling down towards them. Then it became a blur as someone shouted 'run'. Peeta then bolted as fast as his legs would carry him. He ran, but not without getting stung. Not without falling against the rocks, and bleeding. Not before the horrible hallucinations came. Katniss had tried to kill him…

_When everyday we're runnin' in circles,_ How long had he been up? Had it been an hour? A couple of minutes? This was unusual for Peeta to be up this long. Usually someone came in, and forced him to watch the rerun of the games he and Katniss had been in. It was horrible, watching all the ugly things he had done. Besides all that had really happened in the games was them running in circles trying to kill each other. Just like the rest of the games. But as usual someone came in and he started to watch the games again. It was when Katniss had let the trackjacker hive fall.

Peeta snickered._ 'Such a funny way to fall.'_ The nest had fallen all the while the trackerjackers had already fled their doomed home. And then Peeta saw himself running away again, as something went into his arm and the glittering sensation came back into his eyes as a rhythmic voice started repeating weird stuff at him again. Peeta somewhat ignored it, and continued to watch himself as he succumbed to the venom in the games.

I remember that all too clearly. He thought to himself. I tried so hard to keep my eyes open._ 'Tried to open up my eyes,… _and he passed out before he could watch the rest_._

_I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright._ Peeta awoke later on still unfocused as to what was going on. He only knew one thought. He had to apologize to Katniss for what had happened. He never meant for any of that to happen. He only wanted to keep her alive for Prim, and her mother and even Gale. He didn't, still didn't care what happened to him as long as she lived. As long as the girl… no woman, he loved still lived.

_When I wake up, _Peeta dreamed of being back in victor's village in Katniss's house. Prim and their scruffy cat named… Buttercup were smiling at him. Prim said something to him, and he responded with some witty response. She laughed at him, and continued to pet the cat on her lap. Then Katniss appeared from the kitchen… Katniss… Katniss had tried to kill him! No! No! She hadn't! But… Katniss came in and asked something. He had smiled and turned back to what was on the table… what was on the table…

_the dream isn't done. _On the table… was a painting. Something he had done, but Peeta couldn't tell what he had painted for them. Prim was dancing around excited, and Katniss was smiling a rare smile. He had smiled too. If Katniss could smile, so could he.

_I wanna see your face,_ Peeta woke up missing Katniss. Sure, there was still the nagging thought in the back of his mind that she had tried to kill him, but… he usually forgot it in a minute or two. He missed her face. Her long hair in it's usual braid, her eyes… oh he missed her eyes and the way they looked at him. He truly did. He missed the way her face was curved and the expressions would make. Serious when hunting, confused when fashion came into play, clueless about was going on at times, and soft… oh so soft when he had been sick. Paled with worry when he was hurt. Slightly, most would overlook such a small detail in her expression. But as a painter, he wanted to capture her face on his canvas. Now that he came to think about it, he was pretty sure he hadn't done that yet….

_and know I made it home._ Home. He missed his home in the bakery. The smell of different breads and cakes each morning. Even the burning smell was a welcomed smell in his mind. He was awake again the boring room, still strapped to the board thing. It gave him time to remember. His father's kind face, and loving gestures in his work. His brother's grudging but somewhat pleased look when a woman particularly admired a cake he had made. His mother's face scolding Peeta when he didn't get every single chore done. But of course, that wasn't his home anymore. His home was in Victor's village next-door neighbor to Katniss, and only a house away from Haymitch.

_If nothing is true, _Wait? Nothing Katniss had done for him was true? The kisses? The snuggling? The off camera romance and interaction? It was all a lie? Did that make the games a lie too? Was being almost killed by the mutant dogs a lie? The almost eating of the berries a lie? The tarackerjacker venom? The second games? Madge and the rest of the former winners dieing a lie? Wait… Was his entire life a lie?

_What more can I do?_ Again with the questions? Peeta rolled his eyes only to be struck with something. Did he know where Katniss was? No, he hadn't seen her since the lightning struck. Did he know about District 13? Yes, they were eliminated for rebellion and burned to the ground. Did he know the whereabouts of Finnick Odair? Besides him getting too friendly with Katniss at times? No he did not know where Finnick was. Probably off in the ocean naked with his trident. Did Haymitch have anything to do with this? Haymitch doing what? He always was behind something. The person in front of Peeta frowned and asked again. What more could he do? Lie and say he knew when he didn't? There wasn't much Peeta remembered anymore. Peeta then gave the same reply again, only to be hit over the head and…

_I am still painting flowers for you. …_On the table was a… a… a painting of a Primrose. That's why Prim had been so happy. That's why Katniss had smiled for just that split second. But Peeta remembered… he'd paint flowers over and over again for Katniss if she'd smile like that. Come to think of it, they hadn't finished the book yet…

_Show my cards,_ Haymitch had sucked at playing cards on the train. Endless nights he and Haymitch and sometimes Katniss would play cards together. Haymitch would always bet his liquor and he'd always lose. Katniss had done slightly better. She rarely played her hand bluntly, but was very thoughtful about playing. 'Show your cards, Peeta.' Haymitch had growled at him sourly one particular night. He smirked and reveled his hand. 'Royal flush.' He had said. Katniss frowned putting her whole face into it and Haymitch muttered until he said 'God Dammit'.

_Gave you my heart, _When had he fallen in love? Was it when she sacrificed herself for her sister? Perhaps when she started coming with game to trade with his father. No, no, those memories were still too young. It was when they were young and she had sung her song in class. Peeta remembered who excited she had been to sing for the class. Peeta had groaned since singing wasn't his strong suit. But she had gladly gotten in front of the class, closed her mouth, and then… absolute bliss. In that moment watching her sing aloud, he had felt his heart throb. Only when he saw her searching for scarps that he had truly fallen in love with her. Only to have her constantly surrounded by Madge, or by herself, or with that… Gale. Peeta shuddered at the thought of Gale. His heart had long been hers for the taking; only it was taking her much to long to take it. She'd skim her fingers across it, occasionally. Sometimes she'd grip it, but she never took it.

_Wish we could start all over. _Peeta wished he and Katniss… Katniss… Katniss had almost killed him… No, no, he had wished they had met in a different place. In a better world where they would have been free to love as they pleased. Hunted, and baked, and sung, and painted however and whenever they wanted. He wished they could have been born in a different world.

_Nothing's makin' sense at all. _Today the guy who usually asked a bunch of questions was just talking about Katniss. Katniss had almost killed him the trackerjacker nest. The guy behind Peeta agreed. She looked so disappointed when she came back to the cave after slipping him a poison to see he was still alive. The other guy would add in his little bit. But… wait… no… Katniss had never wanted to kill him. Never. Or… Or had she? Peeta had frowned at that moment, and the guy in front of him smiled, and quickly left with his partner. Had she?

_Tried to open up my eyes, _Peeta came to wake up and realize that he couldn't open his eyes. There was something blocking them. There were a few mumbled voices, and animalistic screams coming from near by. He started to sweat wondering if it was going to be him next. But the next thing he knew he was hearing Katniss's voice, and then another one saying what Katniss had said was a lie. This went on for hours it seemed, until it came to a stop. Peeta panicked, a lie? Everything she had said was a lie? No… No it couldn't all be a lie could it? And in vain Peeta tried to open his eyes, only to feel something jabbed into his arm.

_I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright. _Peeta woke, the blindfold removed. He tilted his head up and hoped that Katniss was all right. That she wasn't in pain. That she… she… she had almost killed him on a couple of occasions… No… No… "NOOOO!' Peeta screamed at the top of his lungs. Several guys that looked like the guy who usually questioned him came in trying to restrain his already restrained body. His chorus was picked up by Johanna who was being hit with something, then Annie who was usually the one to scream at random times, and finally two animal screams joined the chorus as everyone near by started to scream at the top of their lungs.

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_When I wake up, _When I wake up…

_the dream isn't done. _When my dream of killing…

_I wanna see your face, _Seeing her face covered in blood…

_and know I made it home. _Seeing how better off district twelve is without herrandomly murdering innocent peoples…

_If nothing is true, _It was all a lie.

_What more can I do? _I can continue to hunt her down until I kill her…

_I am still painting flowers for you, _No…

_I am still painting flowers for you. _No… That… That was a lie…

_I heard everything you said, _I heard all your lies so come clean Katniss… It'll make killing you that much easier….

_I don't wanna lose my head, _Id' rather you lose yours…

_When I wake up, _When I wake up…

_the dream isn't done. _When my dream is finally complete…

_I wanna see your face, _smeared with blood and then tossed into a fire to burn forever in my resentment…

_and know I made it home_. Finally District twelve will be free of your lies and murders…

_If nothing is true, _It was all a lie_. _Childhood, the scraps, the games, the return, even the second games, and your abandonment of me…

_What more can I do? _I'll continue to hunt down all the rebels you created and kill them all too.

_I am still painting flowers for you, _The book…

_I am still painting flowers for you. _I never finished painting Kat-

To that Peeta faltered, and started to furrow his brow. He never finished painting Katniss in blood.


End file.
